Do you want to be made well?
It’s the question Jesus asks the man lying by the pool of Bethesda in John 5 – a man who has suffered 38 years. And it’s the question I feel like He’s asking me today too.
It sounds like a no-brainer. OF COURSE I want to be made well. Of course I want peace and hope and wholeness of soul. Of course I want the pain to stop and the joy to flood in.
But then His eyes probe deeper and He asks me again…
“Do you? Do you WANT to be made well? Because that means I’m going to have to ask some things of you. And that means you’re going to have to trust Me and choose to walk them out.”
And I can’t help but think about the times we say we want to be made well physically, but then we choose not to move towards healing because we don’t want the things that may come with being made well.
We want to be made well, but we don’t want the discomfort of stripping down and feeling exposed in front of a doctor so they can see what’s really going on.
We want to be made well, but we don’t want the doctor to touch those wounded places. The ones that still have us limping along and wincing in pain.
We want to be made well, but like my girls when they were little, we don’t want to take any medicine that doesn’t taste good going down.
We want to be made well, but we don’t want to be cut wide open. We don’t want the doctor to operate.
We want to be made well, but we don’t want to let go of what we want. Like those unhealthy habits that comfort us in the short-term but are doing hidden and dangerous damage in the long-run.
And all of this challenges me. It reminds me that while the place of complete healing will ultimately feel good, the road that leads me there probably won’t. It may be uncomfortable. Painful. Inconvenient. Even downright hard. And what is true about healing my body carries over to healing my soul.
If I want my soul to be made well, I’m going to have to show up willingly naked and completely honest before the Lord. No pretending. No covering up. No playing off how deep the pain or how incredibly ugly the truth.
If I want my soul to be made well, I’m going to have to give Him permission to touch my wounded places. Even the ones that hurt the most.
If I want my soul to be made well, I’m going to have to take in and live out His Word daily. The words that go down bitter alongside the ones that taste so sweet.
If I want my soul to be made well, I’m going to have to sit still and let His Word cut me. Cutting into me so they can then heal me.
If I want my soul to be made well, I’m going to have to walk away from all that He asks me to walk away from. And not just “bad” things. It could also be seemingly good things that have slipped into a place of actually hurting me and continually holding me back.
And just to be honest about where I am, here are my current “tripping” points with the healing process:
1) I need to get a bit “nakeder” with the Lord, being brutally honest about some things deeply ugly.
2) I feel like He’s specifically asking me, “Do you want what you want, or do you want to be well?” Not gonna lie. I tend to want what I want. And…
3) I never realized how much I wrestle with the “inconvenience” of healing. I just want to get on with it and be done with it, ya’ know? This. Is. Slowing. Me. Down. Which leads to the question, “Where on earth am I trying to get to in such a hurry?”
Is there a place in your soul that has long needed healing? Have you caught yourself pulling back from the healing process instead of pressing in?
May we hear Jesus asking with love in His eyes and compassion in His voice, “Do you want to be made well?” And as we count the cost, may our answer be, “Yes, Jesus. I want to. I want to be made well. Show me where I’ve been avoiding the process of healing, and help me move forward today with hope.”
Love you friends,